EdenFantasys.com for Christmas!

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

"Pro Bono" Design

So, I hardly ever design anything anymore considering I'm extremely busy but I'll pick up an occasional project. I have a long laundry list of things to do before Christmas that I'll get to when I have a free moment to breathe. I am glad that I have taken a break from designing for anyone besides myself. I still get emails and inquiries about paid designs which I respond promptly that I am currently not accepting any new clients and direct them to other friends that are accepting projects. Even though I am still flattered people want to work with me, at least half the inquiries I receive are from new clients who expect a design...for free.

"Hey, I was just wondering if you did any pro bono work? I'm trying to build a personal business site since I am a model so I was just wondering if you'd be willing to set up my site with a portfolio. I'll leave a permanent link to your site up as well as credit you for your work. I think it would be a good business move for the both of us. Please let me know when you'd be able to start."

Wait. Did you just basically demand I work for you for free? Would you like me to tell you where you went wrong? Don't worry, I will anyways;

1. I am trying to build a personal business as well. So the fact you think it's okay to take from someone else's business to get ahead is appalling to me. I have worked for the lowest amount of money when it comes to designing. Oh, you'd like a personal site spiffed up? I'll pretty much do that for the cost of a cup of coffee and muffin.
2. You're asking for quite a lot for free. Seriously, a site design with an implemented gallery I would charge at least $60 for. Which is a low-ball rate for someone in the "business" of designing. And you're description was vague - how do I know you don't want me to design logos, flash, or some other shit people usually want when they want designs. And honestly, you should ask me what I would charge with a detailed list (and when I say list, I mean a bullet list with possibly a color list) giving me all the things you've imagined your site being. Even if that list includes being touch by the hands of God and giving away free kittens to every visitor who stops in.
3. I am providing a service for you, a service that should be paid for. Do you go get a manicure and expect to get up and walk out of the salon without paying? Nope. Do you go to dinner and expect to not tip the waitress? Nope. Do you get your hair cut and not pay for it? I don't think so. So what in the fuck possesses you to ask someone with a skill to do anything for free? It's insulting and rude. How about I ask you to model for me for free for the rest of your god damn life, that means in your nursing home death bed, I am going to call your ass and you better get fancy bitch because I need shit for free. 

Unless you want this site, I'd expect to pay for shit bro.
Courtesy of Google.

Moral of this post: A lot of people try to fuck you over and get shit for free because it's expected today. This will continue as long as my peers continue gladly been over and take it. Stop giving yourself away for free.

How one tiny decision can effect it all.

I bet you're looking for a post about how I'm thankful for this or that since it's Thanksgiving. But you're not going to find it on this blog, this year's Thanksgiving was a bit underwhelming - minus the food, that was still there to make me fat and sassy as usual. Instead, you'll find what I think was something I did without prior knowledge to how it would effect my entire life and goals.

Before I had Offspring, I'm not going to pretend I wasn't someone who had absolutely no direction in life. I was wild, crazy, and free. Sounds cliche? Yeah it is. I was pretty much insane in the membrane and what some people would call a giant piece of shit. I was 21 years old and had not done anything with my life besides get drunk and travel. I never really had a job. I worked as a freelance graphic design artist and basically had no real money to do anything. But, getting pregnant changed all that. I needed a job, and I needed to get an education so that job would be awesome enough to supplement two incomes since being a single parent was the next stop on this one way street to parenthood.

I'm super stoked to start classes, right?!

I went to the local community college and decided to take some continuing education courses they offered. I took a math class, it was awesome for preparing me for my skills test for NA I and it was free. I originally wanted to do EMT training but for some reason that isn't held in my memory I decided to get my NA I certification. It was quick and fairly easy to obtain. It only took me two months to complete the training and it was "Jobs Now" guaranteed. I thought for sure that I would be able get a job outside of a nursing home, but I wasn't. I thought I would be able to find a full-time position making at least $9 an hour after this no problem. I was wrong. This would be the first time in the in a long line of realizations that not everything is as easy as they appear.

After completing this certification, I went on to "big girl" college. I figured I already had my NA I, why not just go with nursing? Except there's a couple problems with this theory...
1) I was already beginning to work as an NA I - I accepted a job at a hospital an hour away...making $8 an hour and part-time. I realize after accepting the job that it was mainly old people aka a nursing home setting and the pay/hours are not what I was looking for. Old people give me the creeps, is that normal? Probably not. I don't get any "aw, she reminds me of my grandma" feelings. I just stand there like a deer in headlights as they try to maul me due to insanity of being old. Point being: I'm already dissatisfied in my choice.
2) I am a sick, twisted individual. Let's face it, my sadistic sense of humor and love for making inappropriate jokes does not put me on the personality list of "nurse". I enjoy annoying people, I enjoy being my socially awkward self. I enjoy being annoyingly awkward. But do you want a nurse who will crack a joke about your recent cancer discovery? Probably not. What I am trying to say is I am not overwhelmed with the feelings of compassion normal people who choose the career as a glorified waitress have.

Those are only two of the many reasons why after starting school, I have switched my major to Latent Evidence and am currently working as a receptionist. It's nuts to think I make more money not cleaning up poo than when I did. No one tries to hit me, no one expects me to feel sorry for them and hold their hand. I probably wouldn't mind nursing that much but nurses have this whole "I touch lives" thing and their entire "my job is better than everyone else's" makes me laugh.

Moral of this post: Think about what you're signing yourself up for, before you wind up hating the rest of your life.

I'll keep you posted on what happens as far as the rest of my life goes.

Treat yo self.

That pretty much sums up what this weekend is going to be like around these parts, y'all.

Private blogs? Such a drag!

If you hadn't noticed for the past couple of weeks my blog has been private. Most of you requested to read my private entry about the scary reality of the internet while some of you didn't (I'm looking at you Amanda Mande). If you did, you know this is a huge step for me - and if you didn't? Yeah, you probably didn't give a shit to begin with.

Anyways, I am back but with a little more censorship on certain things - like my name and location, and you'll even notice my child is now officially named Offspring. I promise not to censor my pictures with giant bars over the eyes or pixelated faces, even though I think that would be interesting. Am I really safe from the big scary intermonster? Probably not. But, I have been blogging for half of my life and as sad as it sounds, I really don't know what to do without anymore.

So here I am internet. Chest puffed out, kissing my guns, and sporting this sticker on my left check just to let you know I'm all business.

Intimidating, right?!

Socially acceptable unsocial blog world, welcome me back!

God damn it.

The title pretty much sums up my emotional reactions to the current load of crap being dumped on me this morning, it's not a surprise though - Good luck and happy, warm, fuzzy feelings only last for roughly 2 seconds before the world is back to crapping on you like you're a statue in the middle of a pigeon filled park. At this point, I bet your wondering what's got my panties in a bunch, right? Identity theft and the fact it just rofl stomped me out of no where, that's what.

Okay, okay. It isn't exactly as dramatic as it sound, but it's still annoying and completely disrespectful. I feel violated by the woman who birthed me. Yes, that's right, my own mother has stolen my identity for a cell phone - one she decided to not pay. I bet you're thinking, "Well at least she had the decency to tell you about it after the fact and not let you just get your credit check and find a pretty little black listed blemish on it, that would have been even worse!"
But, oh, how you're so wrong. Because the latter is most definitely what unfolded this morning.

Yes, this is my actual Mom. Sorry Mom, but this was a be-otch devil move.

763 fat dollar bills. That's what a collection agency and my vampire-esk mother plan to suck out of my savings account. Upon hearing the amount I'm having to pay for this cheap emotionless hooker, I had quite an array of questions...

• How does one achieve a phone bill that is behind $536 dollars with it get cut off?
• Why isn't my mother paying for this scum sucking road horse of a bill?
• What compelled¹ you to fuck up your daughter's credit?
• What about my iPhone 4S? Humph.
• Why do I have to be the responsible one out of this redneck trash of a family?
• How the fuck did I come from you? Good Lord!

I'm sure the list could go on of all the random questions scurrying around in my head. But that isn't the point of this post. The point is - I am out a whopping 768 dollars and a startling 8 pennies. All because of this hookerbot posted above.

God damn it woman, get a job and offer to pay for your own damn bills and stop buying 72' HDTV's. This "Woo is Me" shit is old. Do you see this? It's the smallest violin in the world, playing the saddest song for you. Need me to play it again? Because I will.

Moral of this post: Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

¹I've been watching too much Vampire Diaries, but that's a story for a different day.

Blogging or Gaming?

That is the question, or well, the choices lately. I should be writing papers instead of blog posts or chat logs, but who really wants to do that? Not me, that's for sure. I'm really over school this semester. I tried avoiding registration for next semester's classes until my Uncle (who works at the college) tracked me down at work and made me do it. I want to take a semester off, maybe during the summer? Or maybe I'll just take one class during the summer and spend the whole time hanging out with Offspring and WoW- care free.

I'm pretty boring right now and preoccupied. What is everyone doing in their lives besides being way cooler than me?

Who's the winner?

Congratulations Randi for winning our Life In Ink giveaway!

I bet you think that's it, don't you?

If you're a fan of my Facebook page, you probably saw where I posted if someone referred the most users to the giveaway they'd receive a prize as well? Anyone remember this? Yep, it wasn't a joke, nor just an idea. It was real, a real big surprise.

So who made sure According to Ashley had visitors?

Amanda Mande, that's who.

Now, the next question is - what surprise gift did she win? None other than a free custom design from me. Including a custom header, navigation links, and whatever else she desires. She'll get the whole bang for her buck, and that buck? Yeah, it's a FREE buck. So congratulations to Amanda as well for making sure people heard about the contest!

Thanks to everyone who entered and made this contest a success, hopefully I'll be able to offer more giveaways in the future.

I miss blogging circa 2004

Blogging has completely changed in the ten years since I began. For the most part, I wish it never had. I look around at how much the simple design of any personal site has advanced. I enjoy a lot of the newest things that WordPress and Blogger has to offer as far as making site design an easy task for beginners. But I miss the chase for finding a code or script I've seen on a site, and picking apart the coding. It's new dynamics these days, filled with widgets, and the inability to fully comprehend how go farther than being a beginner with designs.

Look at this sweet layout from 2004, it's pretty sick.

Gone are the days of Britney Spears layouts, and .nu's. Now don't get me wrong, I don't miss either of those trends, nor that horrid "grunge" stage that the blog realm had for about a year back in 2004. But I miss the atmosphere it provided. There was no social networking, well minus myspace, but it was easier to blog without feeling the need to promote your site for "fans", and how many people who you can make appear to read your blog. There was once a time I would blog about my days and not feel pressured to include pictures so readers will actually pay attention in the rss readers.

I am a firm believer the problem started for bloggers when they created a "comment" exchange network. While I think the original idea behind comment "trains" is a wonderful way to expose others to your site, and you to new people who'd have never been able to discover previously. I hated receiving comments about how nice my layout was, and nothing related to the words I just spent an hour typing. I quickly withdrew my site from being found on sites fishing for comments.

I'm sadly disappointed every time I navigate to someone's "personal" blog and click their about me page, which in 2004 would have been packed with information about the person behind the blog - their likes, loves, and a shared story from their actual life. Now all I find is google ranks and PR information. Which is fabulous for sites aimed for reviewing products, but you should not be advertising your site as a "personal blog" when I can't find a morsel of information about you, or your life outside of being paid to blog about it. I don't care about how you can work in blogging about a home alarm system. If I was remotely interested in following anchored links to home security options, I would google to find more information.

Well, ten years have been generous to you blog design.

I feel like every blogger these days hide behind masks of social networking and paid blogging. No one remembers how to be personal anymore, because the internet is easily connected to every "personal" social networking site around. Anyone you know could stumble upon your blog at any given time, not that it wouldn't happen back in 2004 - but they'd have to be searching extremely hard to find you. Now it's as easy as 1, 2, 3. No one knows how to be themselves without looking for a way to work their blog to look appeasing to PR.

I'm going to throw this out there for everyone who begs for PR, and continues to get paid $1 to blog about light switches and police uniforms when it has NOTHING to do with you, or anything in your blog. PR is awesome, and if you're going to try for sponsored postings or giveaways. Reach out to things you're interested in. The last thing you want to do is have people following you or reading your blog for all the wrong reasons. And even if you're google rank is good enough to get tons of offers - don't forget why you blog. Are you simply doing this for money, or for the love of blogging?

I hope more people wake up to the fact that even though there are tons of new options available for bloggers to make a profit from blogging. But you shouldn't turn your website into a walking advertisement for tampons and toothbrushes just for a dollar or two.

I'm going back to 2004 style blogging. If I don't have pictures for my blog, I'm not going to give a rat's ass about it. If I get offered PR, or find a product related to something I am interested in, hell yeah to that. Am I going to sell out on my readers? Probably not. I'm an internet loser for the most part, so if you read my blog - God save your soul.

A Secret Garden Giveaway - CLOSED

Color me lucky! I have the opportunity to offer you guys a chance to win a remarkable prize from the snazzy shop, Life In Ink! Tiffany is such a sweet girl and incredibly crafty and talented. I can't find one item in her shop that I don't swoon over. Her prices are very reasonable, and the products are high quality. So to premiere my new blog and her new line "Secret Garden", we're giving away a set of earrings, matching necklace, and a $5 voucher to use in her shop*!

Holy crap! Look how gorgeous! This could be yours!

Prize package will include:
1 - set of Pink Rose Stud Earrings.
1 - 18" Antique Silver and Brass Secret Garden Rose Medallion Necklace.
1 - 30-Day $5 Voucher for Link In Ink @ Etsy (usable at lifeinink.etsy.com)

How can you win?:
For every entry, please leave a comment individually.
1.   Leave a blog comment.
2.   Follow me @ashsketchum.
3.   Follow Tiffany @lifeininketsy.
4.   "Like" me on Facebook, According to Ashley.
5.   "Like" Tiffany on Facebook, Life In Ink.
6.   Follow my blog, on Google Connect in the sidebar.
You can complete this daily;
7.   Tweet about the Giveaway - "RT @ashsketchum @lifeininketsy A fabulous giveaway from #lifeinink jewelry! http://tinyurl.com/696yzkj"


Terms and Conditions:
Contest ends November 3rd, 2011 at 12am. Contestants must be residents of the United States. Must be 16 years or older. *Please note by entering you may receive emails, updates, and status' from According to Ashley.

Wordless Wednesday

Instragram of pure boredom.

Ten

1. This photo was taken was I was pregnant, living in my first rental house. The blowfish was given to me when I was 8 years old by my Nana. This is an accurate portrayal of me. And yes, my fireplace was purple.

2.  My idea of a good night is catching up on one of my favorite TV shows, and drinking a smoothie - probably while studying, but that isn't exactly what I'd consider part of the perfect night. There may or may not be a Nerd Boy playing Poke'mon with me as well.

3. I feel lucky, even though I am extremely unlucky. I am grateful to have a beautiful daughter, supportive friends, and fantastic opportunities presented to me. Without these factors, I wouldn't have anything - either I am extremely lucky to value the simple things in life, or truly blessed. I'll hope for a bit of the both.

4. My favorite color is pink. I know I am 21 years old, but I've never outgrown the color. I don't believe in the whole "if there's too much pink you'll grow to hate it". Totally false.

5. I collected Britney Spears items when I was in elementary school. I had 500 pictures of her on my wall, and had every doll, cd, movie, and concert play set made.

6. You probably know this by now, but baking is my vice. I absolutely love spending all day in the kitchen baking things. It really is an art. But the cupcake trend needs to die. Macaroons are the new cupcakes.

7. Greek food? Yes please. I have an obsession with Greek food since I worked at a Greek restaurant when I was in high school. I still go in there and eat, and try to avoid seeing my boss since I quit without a two week notice. Sorry Yani.

8. When I am hungry, I turn into Betty White. I kid you not. The snickers commercials, totally true. I am a raging DIVA when I am hungry.

9. I survived having Meningitis. It sucked. I missed going to the beach that year because I was in the hospital, only one person came to visit me - my friend Jenny Rhodes.

10. If I had a chance to do everything over again, I'd do almost everything in my life differently.

Wordless Wednesdays

This is where my days are spent lately, it will be nice to catch up.