Happy Birthday Me!

Who says you can't wish yourself a happy birthday? I guess it could be considered vain, but isn't blogging about yourself in general a self-centered act? Thus, justifying this post even more so.

My birthday felt weird this year. I'm 89% sure it's because we didn't drink ourselves into stupidity this year. So I am now wondering if I might suffer from slight alcoholism, you can't prove I'm drinking wine right now or ever...so as far as I am concerned socially making an ass of yourself by inebriation is acceptable on as many occasions that life will allow you to shed the responsibility of taking care of it for the night and probably two days following while you walk around like a zombie hiding in the shade with the triple blocking sunglasses on - then by all means don't deny fate it's reward of you being a clown. I'll drink to that. Cheers.

Oh, right. Birthday. There wasn't drinking but a tad bit of dinner and studying (thanks life, way to ruin it for me),  but I ended up making Nerd Boy take me to a bakery to get cupcakes - which I promptly picked out Pink Lemonade cupcakes and one Strawberry one. I chose the strawberry one because it didn't have any of those horrible garnishes people put on cupcakes, I don't wanna pick something off the top of it. I just want to devour the entire thing in a matter of seconds and let's face it things that make it "extra pretty" just get in the way of that.

Anyways, it was a pretty tame birthday in the books of this wild cat over here. I also think that for some reason people feel the need to celebrate their 21st birthdays for like 2-3 years following it just to make sure you got the whole experience. So I'm raising my drink up right now Happy 22nd and many more make ups for my 21st follow up birthday to come.

"Pro Bono" Design

So, I hardly ever design anything anymore considering I'm extremely busy but I'll pick up an occasional project. I have a long laundry list of things to do before Christmas that I'll get to when I have a free moment to breathe. I am glad that I have taken a break from designing for anyone besides myself. I still get emails and inquiries about paid designs which I respond promptly that I am currently not accepting any new clients and direct them to other friends that are accepting projects. Even though I am still flattered people want to work with me, at least half the inquiries I receive are from new clients who expect a design...for free.

"Hey, I was just wondering if you did any pro bono work? I'm trying to build a personal business site since I am a model so I was just wondering if you'd be willing to set up my site with a portfolio. I'll leave a permanent link to your site up as well as credit you for your work. I think it would be a good business move for the both of us. Please let me know when you'd be able to start."

Wait. Did you just basically demand I work for you for free? Would you like me to tell you where you went wrong? Don't worry, I will anyways;

1. I am trying to build a personal business as well. So the fact you think it's okay to take from someone else's business to get ahead is appalling to me. I have worked for the lowest amount of money when it comes to designing. Oh, you'd like a personal site spiffed up? I'll pretty much do that for the cost of a cup of coffee and muffin.
2. You're asking for quite a lot for free. Seriously, a site design with an implemented gallery I would charge at least $60 for. Which is a low-ball rate for someone in the "business" of designing. And you're description was vague - how do I know you don't want me to design logos, flash, or some other shit people usually want when they want designs. And honestly, you should ask me what I would charge with a detailed list (and when I say list, I mean a bullet list with possibly a color list) giving me all the things you've imagined your site being. Even if that list includes being touch by the hands of God and giving away free kittens to every visitor who stops in.
3. I am providing a service for you, a service that should be paid for. Do you go get a manicure and expect to get up and walk out of the salon without paying? Nope. Do you go to dinner and expect to not tip the waitress? Nope. Do you get your hair cut and not pay for it? I don't think so. So what in the fuck possesses you to ask someone with a skill to do anything for free? It's insulting and rude. How about I ask you to model for me for free for the rest of your god damn life, that means in your nursing home death bed, I am going to call your ass and you better get fancy bitch because I need shit for free. 

Unless you want this site, I'd expect to pay for shit bro.
Courtesy of Google.

Moral of this post: A lot of people try to fuck you over and get shit for free because it's expected today. This will continue as long as my peers continue gladly been over and take it. Stop giving yourself away for free.

God damn it.

The title pretty much sums up my emotional reactions to the current load of crap being dumped on me this morning, it's not a surprise though - Good luck and happy, warm, fuzzy feelings only last for roughly 2 seconds before the world is back to crapping on you like you're a statue in the middle of a pigeon filled park. At this point, I bet your wondering what's got my panties in a bunch, right? Identity theft and the fact it just rofl stomped me out of no where, that's what.

Okay, okay. It isn't exactly as dramatic as it sound, but it's still annoying and completely disrespectful. I feel violated by the woman who birthed me. Yes, that's right, my own mother has stolen my identity for a cell phone - one she decided to not pay. I bet you're thinking, "Well at least she had the decency to tell you about it after the fact and not let you just get your credit check and find a pretty little black listed blemish on it, that would have been even worse!"
But, oh, how you're so wrong. Because the latter is most definitely what unfolded this morning.

Yes, this is my actual Mom. Sorry Mom, but this was a be-otch devil move.

763 fat dollar bills. That's what a collection agency and my vampire-esk mother plan to suck out of my savings account. Upon hearing the amount I'm having to pay for this cheap emotionless hooker, I had quite an array of questions...

• How does one achieve a phone bill that is behind $536 dollars with it get cut off?
• Why isn't my mother paying for this scum sucking road horse of a bill?
• What compelled¹ you to fuck up your daughter's credit?
• What about my iPhone 4S? Humph.
• Why do I have to be the responsible one out of this redneck trash of a family?
• How the fuck did I come from you? Good Lord!

I'm sure the list could go on of all the random questions scurrying around in my head. But that isn't the point of this post. The point is - I am out a whopping 768 dollars and a startling 8 pennies. All because of this hookerbot posted above.

God damn it woman, get a job and offer to pay for your own damn bills and stop buying 72' HDTV's. This "Woo is Me" shit is old. Do you see this? It's the smallest violin in the world, playing the saddest song for you. Need me to play it again? Because I will.

Moral of this post: Some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.

¹I've been watching too much Vampire Diaries, but that's a story for a different day.

I miss blogging circa 2004

Blogging has completely changed in the ten years since I began. For the most part, I wish it never had. I look around at how much the simple design of any personal site has advanced. I enjoy a lot of the newest things that WordPress and Blogger has to offer as far as making site design an easy task for beginners. But I miss the chase for finding a code or script I've seen on a site, and picking apart the coding. It's new dynamics these days, filled with widgets, and the inability to fully comprehend how go farther than being a beginner with designs.

Look at this sweet layout from 2004, it's pretty sick.

Gone are the days of Britney Spears layouts, and .nu's. Now don't get me wrong, I don't miss either of those trends, nor that horrid "grunge" stage that the blog realm had for about a year back in 2004. But I miss the atmosphere it provided. There was no social networking, well minus myspace, but it was easier to blog without feeling the need to promote your site for "fans", and how many people who you can make appear to read your blog. There was once a time I would blog about my days and not feel pressured to include pictures so readers will actually pay attention in the rss readers.

I am a firm believer the problem started for bloggers when they created a "comment" exchange network. While I think the original idea behind comment "trains" is a wonderful way to expose others to your site, and you to new people who'd have never been able to discover previously. I hated receiving comments about how nice my layout was, and nothing related to the words I just spent an hour typing. I quickly withdrew my site from being found on sites fishing for comments.

I'm sadly disappointed every time I navigate to someone's "personal" blog and click their about me page, which in 2004 would have been packed with information about the person behind the blog - their likes, loves, and a shared story from their actual life. Now all I find is google ranks and PR information. Which is fabulous for sites aimed for reviewing products, but you should not be advertising your site as a "personal blog" when I can't find a morsel of information about you, or your life outside of being paid to blog about it. I don't care about how you can work in blogging about a home alarm system. If I was remotely interested in following anchored links to home security options, I would google to find more information.

Well, ten years have been generous to you blog design.

I feel like every blogger these days hide behind masks of social networking and paid blogging. No one remembers how to be personal anymore, because the internet is easily connected to every "personal" social networking site around. Anyone you know could stumble upon your blog at any given time, not that it wouldn't happen back in 2004 - but they'd have to be searching extremely hard to find you. Now it's as easy as 1, 2, 3. No one knows how to be themselves without looking for a way to work their blog to look appeasing to PR.

I'm going to throw this out there for everyone who begs for PR, and continues to get paid $1 to blog about light switches and police uniforms when it has NOTHING to do with you, or anything in your blog. PR is awesome, and if you're going to try for sponsored postings or giveaways. Reach out to things you're interested in. The last thing you want to do is have people following you or reading your blog for all the wrong reasons. And even if you're google rank is good enough to get tons of offers - don't forget why you blog. Are you simply doing this for money, or for the love of blogging?

I hope more people wake up to the fact that even though there are tons of new options available for bloggers to make a profit from blogging. But you shouldn't turn your website into a walking advertisement for tampons and toothbrushes just for a dollar or two.

I'm going back to 2004 style blogging. If I don't have pictures for my blog, I'm not going to give a rat's ass about it. If I get offered PR, or find a product related to something I am interested in, hell yeah to that. Am I going to sell out on my readers? Probably not. I'm an internet loser for the most part, so if you read my blog - God save your soul.